It was just...lust.

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I have had a few successful "dates" with RedRobin. Although I would never dream of calling them that out loud, even in my head. There's no way he wanted to date me...I was just..me. Fluttershy. Nothing special. He could have any pony he wanted so why come for me?

The whole thing was...confusing. I wanted to be with him, there was no doubt about that. I knew he had the charm, confidence and good looks Rainbow Dash had but with a stallion. He was like Rainbow Dash incarnated into a male. He even had the same smirk she did which made my heart twist with hope and guilt at the same time. Was Rainbow smirking now? Was she happy wherever she was? My heart wanted so desperately for her to be happy but at the same time I wanted to be happy too.

I tried to keep Rainbow Dash out of every conversation I had with all of my friends. Whenever they'd ask, I'd shrug and say she was probably happy wherever she was. They never bought that excuse and I could feel them judging me when I would shrug off our friend, but I was not going to let them know I was wrong for what I did. It was the right decision and they had to learn to live with it like I did.

It's not like they were in the relationship with us.

RedRobin hung around Ponyville for a bit, basking in the fame he was getting in such a small town. Nopony has ever seen somepony so famous before here besides Celestia and Luna themselves. RedRobin made sure to keep me next to him, despite my shyness and discomfort in large crowds. It was almost as if he was trying to establish we were a couple which was silly! Even if we did do couple things like go out on dates, we never kissed or hugged or held wings. I hope he knew I was far too shy to make the first move with him and it seemed he didn't mind at all as he made no attempt to kiss me or hug me once so ever. There was one thing we would do together though. Something I am so ashamed of, but love at the same time. Something I never thought I'd be doing this time last year.

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I had no idea what had come over me that night. We were riding in personal carriage after the date as he was taking me home. We talked and laughed and had fake conversations but there was something I wanted. I had thought about it the whole night and I knew I wanted it. I never imagined I'd want something like this but I did. I didn't let him know or even hint to what it was, I just continued to laugh and joke and be a cute little mare like I knew I was. But I think after a while he saw it too. He saw what I wanted and that is when he moved closer and just began to...touch me. In places I had not allowed Rainbow to touch me in months. At first I was taken aback. I gasped and pushed his hoof away shaking my head. But I could see his smug smile in the dark carriage as he leaned in closer to me.

"Cmon, Fluttershy...I saw the way you were looking at me in there. Why bother wasting time and just get right to it?" and after that, without any consent from me, he began to touch me again. I leaned back into the seat and although I didn't necessarily know if I still wanted this, I did not stop him.

Before I knew it, one thing lead to another and he had gone all the way with me in the back of that carriage. It had been so long since I've felt a male inside me and it felt so good. So positively good. And at the same time it felt dirty...like I had done something wrong. But what could be wrong? This is what I wanted, right? I wanted to be my own pony again, and I wanted the touch of a stallion. Sure, Rainbow Dash was an excellent lover but nothing compared to the strong hooves of a stallion. As it went on, however, RedRobin grew more aggressive. Maybe it was because I wasn't used to a stallion, or maybe it was because I wasn't entirely aware the entire time..it felt almost like a dream. And then, halfway through something changed...

The more into it he got, the dirtier I felt. Despite all my efforts, my Rainbow maned lover would pop into my head, her face was all I could see. All I could thing of was what Rainbow Dash was doing. Was she okay? What if she ever found out about this? Wouldn't she be crushed?
I know I would have been crushed if I didn't already expect her to be doing that with another pony.

As dirty as I felt during it, I'm glad it all happened because it was at the final moments of what we had done that really made me realize that this stallion was nothing like Rainbow Dash. For his heart did not have the same purity she did.

When he had finally finished up, he collapsed on top of me in a sweaty, heavy breathing heap. I had gotten off too, but it didn't feel right. Not by a long shot. Because at this point, tears were streaming down my face. There was no passion; there was no love. It was just...lust. He lifted himself up and gave me one last hug. I turned away, attempting to hide my tears. There was no way he could see them in the dark anyway. After that quick hug, he looked out the window as the carriage continued to move down the dark, dirt roads of Ponyville.

I sat there, hugging my stomach. What in Equestria was wrong with me...? Why did I enjoy this so much?

What is wrong with you, Fluttershy? I'd ask myself. What dirty mare would enjoy this? Maybe I was dirty; too dirty for Rainbow Dash. I don't deserve a mare like her. I never deserved a mare like her.


When the carriage arrived at my house he gave me one last goodbye as I hopped out. Before I went into the house he turned to me, handing me a small card.

I picked it up with my mouth and when the card was out of his mouth, he began to explain. "My address in Canterlot." he said. "Write to me whenever you want. And when you want to visit me, let me know and I will send for somepony to get you." and with that, he sat back in his carriage and drove off. I watched him leave before I would allow more tears to fall from my eyes.

I walked slowly into my cottage where all the animals were asleep. Nestled in their little beds. If only I could be a tiny animal where life was so simple. No broken hearts, no regret, no nothing. I walked over to a light and turned it on. The small light lit up the room as I plopped myself on the touch, resting my head on a pillow. I wanted to cry more but the tears just stopped. I sighed and rolled over, facing the end of the couch. I tried to fight sleep as I allowed myself to think and let sink in what was happening to me:

1. Rainbow Dash and I were officially broken up. That was a fact.

2. She hated me. She undoubtedly hated my guts. And after what I did tonight, she would hate me even more.

3. RedRobin was a selfish, controlling, narcissistic lustful pony but I absolutely loved that about him.

4. I was dirty for loving it, and that made everything about me dirty.

And finally, 5. I would have to completely force myself to eradicate any feelings I have for Rainbow Dash, no matter how small they are.

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Disclaimer Yeah, I know this one wasn't pretty but I'm just transitioning from RD's point of view to Fluttershy's. I'm sorry if this offended anypony out there! I just want you all to remember that RedRobin is not an official OC he is representing rebound relationships!